emxvance:

“—It depends. What part are we laughing about again?

     "Him falling off his broom, of course!  It was just a meter off the ground, so he wasn’t hurt.  It was bloody hilarious.”

Let's play bed, wed, behead.

     Alright, now this one’s just plain evil.

Bed:  Rabastan.  He’s got no shame, so I think he’d be a good fuck, really.

     … Ah, this is a difficult choice… Amycus is a complete twat, but so is Snivellus… this is going to come back and bite me in the bum, but I can’t stand the Pureblood nonsense Amycus spits…

Wed:  Snivellus.  If anyone talks about this, I’ll hex them into next week.
Behead:  Amycus.  The bastard deserves it.